Ur Support Networks

Managing Your Support Networks
- Getting help when you need it

When under intense stress, it is very natural to withdraw from the world and concentrate exclusively on solving the problem that is causing the stress. Sometimes this is a useful and appropriate reaction.


Often, it is not. This is particularly the case as the projects you take on get bigger and bigger: One person working on his or her own simply cannot achieve tasks beyond a certain size. Similarly, many stressful situations cannot be resolved without the help of other people.



We all have networks of people who can help us solve problems. This network extends professionally and socially, as well as including our family and public services.



Within your organization, your professional networks include relations with your boss, mentors within the organization, colleagues, your team, previous colleagues and organizational support services. Outside your organization, they can include professional contacts, clients, suppliers (who may provide services that specifically address the problem), professional organizations, trades unions, trades associations and many others.



Your social networks obviously include your friends, clubs and social organizations. Your close and extended family is obviously important.



Finally, there is a raft of state and independent organizations whose purpose may be to help you solve the problems you are facing.



These people can give help and support in a wide variety of ways, including:

* Physical assistance: This can be financial or direct help, or provision of useful resources.
* Political assistance: Other people can use their influence and personal networks on your behalf to help with the situation, for example, by persuading other people to move deadlines, change what they are doing or help directly.
* Information: People may have information that helps in the situation or solves the problem, or may have personal experience that can help you. They may have solved the problem before, or may have seen the problem solved elsewhere.
* Problem solving: Similarly, they may be able to help you to think through how to solve the problem. Just explaining a problem clearly to someone else can bring a problem into focus so that the solution is obvious. Alternatively, other people may have problem solving skills you do not have, or may just be fresh and unstressed enough to see good alternatives.
* Reassurance: People can also give emotional support and reassurance when you may be starting to doubt yourself, can help you put problems into context or can help you find solace elsewhere. Others can cheer you up when you are feeling down.

When you are under pressure, make sure that you ask for help when you need it.



Having said this, it is worth being cautious in asking for help from people. People can help, but they can also hinder. They can give the wrong advice or can waste your time leading you down blind alleys. Pragmatically, if someone is going to help you, you need to be sure that they have the resources you need. These might be experience, connections, or good judgment, as well as the obvious resources of time, money or willingness to help.



People can also tire of giving support if it is asked for too often. This is particularly the case when they have to deal with someone who is negative. It is much more satisfying to help someone who is actively trying to solve problems than it is to try to help someone who seems to have already given up.



People can also tire if support is a one-way process: You also need to provide a reasonable level of help and support to your friends, family and colleagues, particularly to the ones who help you the most.



However stressed you are, you need to keep talking to people and building your relationships with them. There are very good, practical reasons for having fun with people you like!